All for love…

// August 2nd, 2011 // Loux Family News

I'll love you forever....

Today  (August 1st) would have been mine and Derek’s 19th wedding anniversary.  I am heartbroken that we are not celebrating this day together. Derek was so great at celebrating life. He was very intentional about planning our birthdays and anniversary celebrations and always made me feel so loved and treasured. I loved being ”his” and he loved being ”mine.”

As I faced this extremely hard and sad day without my Love,  I chose to look at the fruit that has come from our union. The beauty that has come from the Lord joining my life with Derek’s is immeasurable. As I was re-living so many precious memories today, I could so clearly see the hand of the Lord in bringing us together.

Twenty years ago, Derek was a young musician who had just been accepted into Berkley School of Music. Shortly after his acceptance letter arrived in the mail, a guest speaker at his church in rural Pennsylvania (who actually happened to be a friend of my dad’s) spoke into his life in a very powerful way. The Lord apprehended Derek and changed the course of his life, which in turn changed the course of mine.

Derek’s change of plans involved his decision to attend Last Days Ministries Training School in Texas. It was there where Derek sat under a teaching by my father, Sam Sasser, that would further impact his course. The Lord used this encounter with my dad to cause Derek’s heart to become burdened for missions and within a very short period of time, Derek made a commitment to do a 1 year internship in the ministry my father had planted in the Marshall Islands.

As many of you may already know, I spent the first ten years of my life in the Marshall Islands where my parents were missionaries, moving there when I was just 9 months old. This laid the foundation for my heart to be captured and burdened for missions and for children.  From the time I was a very young girl I had a deep passion for orphans.

In the Summer of 1991, My dad was scheduled to take Derek and a few other interns to the Marshall Islands to get them oriented by introducing them to the culture, the leaders and all the beautiful people they would be working with. Just a few weeks before the trip, Dad became very ill and he called me asking if I would accompany these interns on the trip and help them get settled. I was living in Silver Spring Maryland at the time and was heavily involved on staff at my church and in the school I was teaching at. I told my dad I didn’t think I could go. He asked me if I would pray about it and I agreed.

The next day I went to church and there was a guest speaker who was very prophetic. During the service, he looked at me and said, “You, in the bright pink top, please stand up, I have a word from the Lord for you.” I nervously stood up and he said, “The Lord says that you are going to be asked to go on a short term mission’s trip and you are to say yes because it’s going to change your life forever.”  Wow! I was very curious at this point over all the Lord had planned for me on this trip. I couldn’t have even begun to imagine what was up ahead!

Today as I sit here thinking through all of the events that happened leading up to our meeting each other, I am so amazed at the hand of God. Derek and I met and fell in love. In fact, he asked me to marry him just 8 days after we met and I said ”YES!”  We endured a long distance courtship over the next year.  Please keep in mind that this was before the days of social networking, Skype and all the other great ways we now have to communicate long distance.  We relied on the very slow mail that traveled between the US and the Marshall Islands, sending letters and videos to each other, as well as recording 42 audio tapes (entitled “I’m on fire for your love”…volumes 1-42) and making a few very costly phone calls at almost $4 a minute!

It was also during this time that Derek met and held in his arms the beautiful twin baby girls who would one day become our daughters (Teyolla and Keyolla).  This was also the season that the first seeds were planted in Derek’s heart in regards to loving and caring for orphans. I am writing all of this not just to tell a story or to remember our anniversary, but to share the goodness of  the Lord in our lives and the incredible fruit that has come as a result of our marriage. In Isaiah 61:3 the Lord declares that He  will: “bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise  instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

I miss Derek every day, more than any words could begin to express…but….. I know that the Lord desires to make something beautiful out of the ashes of grief and longs to continue to restore my heart to a steadfast place of joy and praise. I lean on Him for this and trust Him to complete this work in my heart and in the hearts of our children. I will never understand this side of heaven, why Derek had to die, but, I know my God is sovereign and I can trust him.  And, even without an answer to the “why”, I can see the fruit of his beautiful life. I see it in the eyes of our amazing children. I feel it in my own heart every day when I face difficulty and hear his words of encouragement that have been stored in my heart for 19 years. I hear it in the voices of those who share with me how their own lives were impacted by Derek’s passion and vision for loving, caring for, and restoring orphans. I see it as I remember what once was just a dream in our hearts, taking root and becoming reality as we rescued 10 children, teaching them along with our biological children, to be rooted and grounded in the love of Christ Jesus, which would help restore them all.

When God writes the story it’s beautiful and it’s perfect.  How rich I am because I have Jesus. Our love story is what it is because it’s God who joined our hearts together and our story continues to grow and blossom before my very eyes.

There’s a quote by Charles Spurgeon that I love.  ”Those who dive in the sea of affliction bring up rare pearls.” They are indeed the rarest of pearls. They are the things that I will never take for granted because of the depth of the journey that uncovered them for me.

Thank you Jesus for the priceless gift you gave me in my precious husband.

Happy Anniversary my darling Derek. You are never forgotten. You are always loved and always  remembered. I love you and am longing for eternity…

I’ve included a video in this post which shows some of  the fruit that came from our beautiful union. If you’d like to view it, please click on this link: All For Love…